Confessions
by AllThereIs
Summary: "Did you mean it, what you said?" He asked, pleading with her with his eyes that she did, that she cared about him, unlike a lot of the people in his life and she felt a pang in her chest. He deserved so much more than what he got. Puckleberry. A look into what should have happened when Rachel found out about Puck and Shelby.


**A/N: Hey, it's Rachel here. Yes, my name actually is Rachel. So this is my first Puckleberry story, pretty happy about it. This takes place in season 3 after Rachel finds out about Puck and Shelby sleeping together. I didn't like how little she reacted and I didn't think is was very "Rachel" of her, so to put my plot bunny at rest, I typed this out in two hours with little to know sleep, so yeah.**

**Disclaimer: Do not own Glee. I wish I did.**

Rachel stumbled down the dimly lit hallway leading to Shelby's apartment, nearly twisting an ankle in her heals. Leaning against the wall, she takes them off of her sore feet and lets her drunken brain remember why she's here in the first place.

Noah.

And Shelby.

When Quinn told her about Noah sleeping with Shelby, Rachel had put up a front, telling her not to rat her out to Figgins, saying she would lose her job and not be able to take proper care of Beth, which was true. No matter how much she disliked Shelby, she would never put a child through something like that, especially Noah's. On the inside, though, Rachel was angry and disgusted in her mother. She had sex with _him_. Her first boyfriend, the first boy that ever made her feel special, the first boy who _sang_ to her, and the boy who had almost been her first.

She had had so many feelings all at once. She remembered running to the girls washroom, bursting into an empty stall and emptying the contents of her stomach into the white toilet bowl. Her eyes brimmed with tears at even the _thought_ of that woman touching him in such a way. She'd quietly cried afterward, her back leaning against the stall wall, legs sprawled in front of her.

Why did Shelby keep coming into her life and screwing it up? She had come back to Lima, seeking her out. She made Jesse work his way into her heart just so she could get close to her. Once she met Rachel, she couldn't handle it, it was too much for her. Next thing you know, she's leaving with an infant, Rachel so far from her mind. Then she came back, said baby in tow, and got a job _at her school, _of all places, almost as if rubbing salt in the wound. Oh, and to top it all off, _she_ _slept with_ _Puck._

All she remembered after that, is driving home after glee practice, breaking out her dads' tequila, and _drinking._ Now here she is, standing outside Shelby's door. Rachel knew the dangers of drinking and driving. She had even made pie charts for Puck, telling him he always needed a designated driver if he chose to go anywhere while drinking. But Rachel had been so inebriated, she hadn't even thought about it, her drunken mind had been too hazy to function correctly.

Rachel slipped her shoes in her purse, staggering to the door and knocking. The door opened, revealing a surprised Shelby.

"Rachel, what are you doing here?" She asked, looking at her disheveled appearance in confusion.

"Just thought I'd swing by for some mother-daughter talk," Rachel giggled. "Can I come in?"

"I don't think that's—"

"Great!" Rachel bubbled, slipping past her into the small apartment.

"Have you been drinking?" Shelby questioned, smelling the stench of alcohol on the young girl. Rachel nodded, pulling the large bottle of Avion tequila out of her purse.

"Want some?"

"Rachel, let me take you home." She insists, placing her hand on her elbow. Rachel shook off the woman's hand, shaking her head rapidly.

"No, I have something to say to you that needs to be said." She stated, sobering up quickly. Taking a deep breath, she began speaking, "I always wondered what it would be like to have a mother, to have that connection. I never understood what it was that made you give me up. What was so terrible about me that made you not want your own daughter? I always thought, that when I would meet you, you would be everything I expected, but you weren't. You were selfish, manipulative, and uncaring of others feelings. You were—_are _worse than Quinn, and that is saying a lot."

"Rachel—" Shelby started, but Rachel stopped her, raising her hand.

"No. You let me finish." Shelby nodded, shocked at her harsh words. "You left with a baby after denying any kind of connection between us. I wasn't what you preferred. I was too old and wasn't what you had expected. You swooped in and got me in your vice like grip, me hoping to _finally_ have the mother that I never had, breaking my heart in the process and then leaving with a child that wasn't me. Beth is so beautiful and precious that it hurts me she was stuck with a mother like you. You will hurt that baby just like you did me. You _came back_, got a job at McKinley, _my school_, and guess what else?"

Shelby looked ashamed, as if she knew what Rachel was going to say.

"You slept with a student, but not just _any_ student, you slept with Noah! One of the closest people I have in my life. My _friend_. Oh, but not just my friend, my _ex-boyfriend. _We dated, and it may have only been for a week, but it was the best week of my life, and it took this happening for me to realize it.I _almost_ gave him my virginity, because he cares about me, and he may not admit it to anyone, but he does. You took advantage of him! God bless, he loves that baby and you tricked him into believing his love for you is _real_, but it isn't. He wants you because you are his only tie to Beth having an actual family, a family he never had when his meaningless, _abusive_ father _left_ him, but he deserves her so much more than you ever will in your lifetime, because he is the sweetest, most caring man I have ever met and I can't stand to look at your face knowing you _defiled_ him!"

Shelby didn't move, just stared at Rachel's heaving body. Rachel let a few tears fall, trailing down her cheeks and onto the hardwood floor below her. Sobs wracked her body before she could stop them, she gripped the counter top next to her, holding herself up as she weeped.

She looked at Shelby with the coldest glare she could muster and said, "I hate you."

Shelby glanced at something behind Rachel and she turned, meeting Puck's hazel eyes. She didn't know what to say, if she should anything at all, but when tried to say something_, anything,_ he just shook his head and told her he'd drive her home. Without a backwards glance at Shelby, Rachel followed him out the door and to his truck. She climbed in without a word, not worried about her car at the moment. She looks at him, but he doesn't look at her, just pulls out of the parking lot, and drives toward her house. The truck is silent and tense the whole 15 minutes it takes to get there and Rachel wonders if he's angry with her.

They arrived at her house and as soon as the truck came to a stop Rachel reached for the door handle, but his hand grabbed her wrist, halting her movements. She looked into his sad, tired eyes and _felt_ for him. She felt for this boy, this boy who had been through _so much_ in his life and her heart ached.

"Did you mean it, what you said?" He asked, pleading with her with his eyes that she did, that she cared about him, unlike a lot of the people in his life and she felt a pang in her chest. He deserved so much more than what he got.

"I did. I-I care about you, Noah. I want you to know that... whenever you feel lost, like you have recently, that I'm here and I won't leave you or use you, I'll just _be here_."

He looked at her with a soft look she couldn't quite decipher the meaning behind, and he leaned forward gently placing his lips on hers. She sat there in shock as he sipped from her lips and slowly kissed him back. He pulled back from her.

"I was never gonna break up with you, I was pissed you wanted Finn over me and I just wanted to get under your 're special, Rachel. You don't judge me for my mistakes, you just lecture me and you never lose faith in me, which is impressive since I a grad A asshole."

She laughed.

"Well, it is pretty challenging, but I manage."

He just grins and kisses her again, and she lets him.


End file.
